Meat-Life Crisis/Transcript
*'Bank Teller': Let me guess. You're gonna rob the bank. *'The Butcher': You don't seem very sturprised. *'Bank Teller': I think you mean surprised, and, no, I'm not. I mean, this is the third time you've robbed the bank this week. *'The Butcher': Really? (Sighs) Does your job ever start to feel boring? *'Bank Teller': No, Butcher, never, no. This is like jumping out of planes. Anyway, you want the money or not? Because I'm pretty sure any second WordGirl is just gonna swoop-- *(WordGirl arrives) *'WordGirl': Hold it right there, Butcher! *'Bank Teller': Called it? *'WordGirl': Called what? What's going-- *'The Butcher': Corned Beef Kapow! Huh. What's with you guys? *'WordGirl': Butcher, are you feeling okay? *'The Butcher': I don't really know, WordGirl. *'WordGirl': Hmm. Well, try again. You know, I don't want to take you down without a fight. Where's the sport in that? *'The Butcher': Ah, thanks. All right. Here goes. Chicken Pot Pow-- Ah, not feeling it. *'WordGirl': Nothing? *'The Butcher': No, it's not working. I don't believe this. I've lost my ability to summon meat. All right. Go ahead. You gonna arrest me now, WordGirl? *'WordGirl': Well, you haven't really done anything wrong except for moping a bit. Is something bothering you? *'The Butcher': I don't know. Stealing stuff, shooting meat, going to jail. Maybe it's just getting a little routine. *'WordGirl': Well, it sounds like a perfect time for you to quit your life of crime and become a law-abiding citizen! *'The Butcher': You're kidding, right? That kind of sounds boring, too. *'WordGirl': Uh, do you have a vending machine here? I told my sidekick that this would be an all you can eat battle. *'Bank Teller': Go right in the hall. *'WordGirl': Thank you. ---- *'Becky': TJ, what's going on around here? You sound just like the Butcher. ---- *'TJ': How do you know that? *'Becky': How do I know what? *'TJ': That The Butcher is moping. *'Becky': What Butcher? *'TJ': Oh, never mind! ---- *'Tim': Hey there, TJ, what's wrong? ---- *'Tim': Wha-what is going on? *'Sally': TJ! That is not even in the botsford vocabulary! *'Tim': So let's pick a super fun activity say bye-bye to this botsford boredom bug! Whoo! Ha, ha, ha! *'TJ': Where we going? *'Sally': I was thinking we could visit the Bundt Cake Exhibit at the museum. *'Tim': Mmm. No. *'Both': No. *'Tim': There must be a way to pick a family activity that everyone will agree on something that will stop all this moping! *'Sally': Bundt Cake! *'Tim': Ha, ha, ha! No. ---- *'The Butcher': But robing banks has become boring. This is a problem. Ugh. I guess there's only one thing I can do. *'Kid Potato': Ohh! My son! Yaah! *'The Butcher': (Grunts) Hi, Pop. *'Kid Potato': What are you doing? *'The Butcher': Well, I think I've lost my ability to summon the meat. *'Kid Potato': It's okay, son. This can happen even to the best super-villains. *'The Butcher': Hey, Pop. You think I can stay with you for a while? *'Kid Potato': Come on in and tell your old man all about it, but I won't have you moping around the house all day. *'The Butcher': No, I know, I know. Hey, you want to go out and steal some dinner or something? *'Kid Potato': I'm afraid you're on your own, son. I have to go to work. *'The Butcher': Work? You work? What happened to Super Villain Kid Potato? *'Kid Potato': I had to retire Kid Potato after I hurt my back firing a whole lot of au gratin. I overdid it with the cheese. I'm vendor at the ballpark now. *'The Butcher': A vendor? What's a vendor? *'Kid Potato': A vendor is a person who sells things. A vendor at a ball game usually sells hot dogs or peanuts. Hey, come work with me. With your background in the meats, you'd be natural. *'The Butcher': Huh. A Vendor. And it's not boring? *'Kid Potato': No. It's fun, and the best part is, you got to see all the games free! *'The Butcher': Oh. Okay, Pop. I'll do it. *'Kid Potato': Yes! Meat and Potatoes together again. This time as vendors. Sit up straight. You're slouching. *'The Butcher': All right. *'Narrator': Next day at the baseball stadinum... ---- *'Sally': What a beautiful day for a family activity! Thanks, honey! *'Tim': Don't thank me thank the Family Adventure Activity Wheel! *'Becky': Ah, you probably should have left the wheel at home, Dad. *'Tim': I know, but I just love it so much I did have to buy another ticket for it, though. *'Guy': Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! Look at this. Father and son vendors! I love it! All right. Get to work, boys! *'Kid Potato': Don't worry, kiddo, you're gonna do great! Just what I do. Get your hot dogs here! Hot dogs! *'The Butcher': Okay. Doesn't seem too hard. (Unenthusiastically) Hot dogs, peanuts, sticky stuff. *'Kid Potato': You're moping! A good vendor never mopes! Give it some energy. *'The Butcher': All right. Hot dogs! Uh, get your hot dogs! *'Kid Potato': Heh, heh, heh! Now, you've got it. *'The Butcher': All right. Hot dogs! *'Becky': The Butcher? Working as a vendor? *'TJ': What's with you and the Butcher? *'Becky': Huh? What Butcher? What? *'TJ': Becky, you just said that-- *'Becky': Mom, Dad? Bob and I are gonna go get some snacks okay? *'Tim': Okey-dokey. Hurry backy, Becky! *'Sally': Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I love it! I love it! *'Warden': Listen to my stomach. If I don't get a hot dog with onions soon, I'll eat my hat! *'Bank Teller': Hot dog, please! *'The Butcher': uh, let's see. Hot dogs, onions. *'Becky': Excuse me, but are you the Butcher? *'The Butcher': Huh? Oh, yeah, well, I was. *'Becky': Of course I've never met you, but I have read about you in the paper. You were a very good criminal in your day. ---- *'The Butcher': Yeah, trying to-- Trying to work here. *'Bank Teller': Hot dog over here, please! *'Warden': Do you want me to eat my hat? Because I'll do it if I don't get a ballpark snack pronto. *'The Butcher': Yeah, yeah, I'm coming, all right, yeah. Yeah, kid, I'm a vendor now, see? *'Becky': Well, then I'll take two hot dogs, please. *'The Butcher': Okay. *'Warden': I'm not playin'. Where's my food? *'The Butcher': Uh, how am I supposed to send so much food in so many directions at once? Wait. Wait a minute. Who had the dogs with onions? *'Warden': Ooh! Over here! *'The Butcher': Hey! Hey! It worked! Right at you! All right! Hamburger Hammer! Hyah! *'Woman': Got it! *'The Butcher': Pastrami Attack! *'Bank Teller': Thanks! *'The Butcher': Bratwurst Blast! To the newlyweds in the back! *'Woman': Good work. *'Kid Potato': That's my boy. *'Narrator': Later, The Butcher reports back to the vending boss. *'The Butcher': Wait. Hold on. This is all I get? *'Vendor Boss': Yeah, well, technically today's a training day for you. You aren't supposed to be paid at all, but you such a good job, you shouldn't have empty handed. *'The Butcher': Hey. That's not fair! *'Vendor Boss': Sorry, I'm the Vending Boss and you're the Vendor, and those are the rules. *'The Butcher': No, I'm the Butcher, and you're gonna give me all the money now! Ha, ha, ha! *'Vendor Boss': Hey, someone help! That Vendor stole all the money! *'The Butcher': Liverwurst Whammo! The Butcher's back, baby! Now give me all your money! Pork Chop CHop! *'Becky': The Butcher is back! To his evil ways! Uh, Dad, we're going to get more napkins! *'Sally': Okey dokey, hurry Becky! *'Tim': Good one. ---- *'WordGirl': So I see you've stoped moping. *'The Butcher': Yes! I have stopped moping. I think. I don't exactly know what moping means, so... *'WordGirl': Well, to mope means to feel sad or glum. You were moping when you were bored and you lost your superpowers. *'The Butcher': Oh! Well, then you're right! I have stopped moping. Hamalance! *'WordGirl': Good catch, Huggy! *'Kid Potato': No fair, two against one. *'The Butcher': Pop?! *'Kid Potato': The name is Kid Potato! *'The Butcher': I thought you retired Kid Potato. *'Kid Potato': You got to do what you got to do. And in your family, it's throw food. I knew you'd get your powers back. *'The Butcher': How'd you know? *'Kid Potato': It's who we are. Now let's send this little girl and her lemur back to the library! *'WordGirl': Who you calling Little Girl?! *'Kid Potato': Potato Pie Pow! *'The Butcher': Hamburger Hammer! *'Kid Potato': Boy, that guy can chew! *'The Butcher': You ain't kidding. *'Sportscaster': Hello, again, everyone, and welcome to the ball park where we are in the middle of a dandy. WordGirl is battling The Butcher and his dad, Kid Potato. Let's watch on the field. *'Kid Potato': Whole lot of Au Gratin with extra cheese! *'Huggy': (Groans) *'Kid Potato': Oh, boy. There goes the back. *'The Butcher': Aw, Pop. *'Kid Potato': Uh-oh! It looks like Kid Potato is hurt and Huggy is stuffed! It's just WordGirl and The Butcher now. *'The Butcher': Ha, ha! I gotcha now, WordGirl. You ready, sister? Meatball Mayhem! *'Crowd': (Cheers and Applause) *'Kid Potato': Easy on the back, easy now. Overdid it with the cheese again! *'The Butcher': Hey, Pop, you came out of retirement just to get arrested and sent back to jail. *'Kid Potato': That's okay, that's okay. As long as I'm sharing a jail with you, I'll be happy. ---- *'TJ': Becky, where were you?! You missed the most awesome baseball game ever! *'Becky': We did? Who won? *'TJ': I don't know! But we saw WordGirl battle it out with The Butcher and Kid Potato! We got to come here every Saturday! *'Tim': I think we need to leave that decision Up to the Family Adventure Activity Wheel. *'Sally': Okay, baby! Give me Bundt Cake! Give me Bundt Cake! Come on, Lady Luck, give me Bundt Cake! Category:Transcripts Category:Episodes